gamblers all

sometimes you climb out of bed in the morning and you think,
I’m not going to make it, but you laugh inside
remembering all the times you’ve felt that way, and
you walk to the bathroom, do your toilet, see that face
in the mirror, oh my oh my oh my, but you comb your hair anyway,
get into your street clothes, feed the cats, fetch the
newspaper of horror, place it on the coffee table, kiss your
wife goodbye, and then you are backing the car out into life itself,
like millions of others you enter the arena once more.

you are on the freeway threading through traffic now,
moving both towards something and towards nothing at all as you punch
the radio on and get Mozart, which is something, and you will somehow
get through the slow days and the busy days and the dull
days and the hateful days and the rare days, all both so delightful
and so disappointing because
we are all so alike and so different.

you find the turn-off, drive through the most dangerous
part of town, feel momentarily wonderful as Mozart works
his way into your brain and slides down along your bones and
out through your shoes.

it’s been a tough fight worth fighting
as we all drive along
betting on another day.

Charles Bukowski

There And Back Again

There And Back Again — is the novel in a novel in the Lord of the Rings. The Hobbit, Bilbo Baggins thus entitled his memoir. Adventure he discovers is better read about from a safe distance and in our arm chair than to stir and disturb our several selves into getting up and doing what has to be done. It is so much easier to imagine the quest but like sight it is irresponsible — much easier to consider than to do.

Yet this is the only time we have and the only quest we can undertake and to avoid it is to deny life.


Sight is free and sight is irresponsible. I can cast my eye to the far horizon and then back to the fingers I hole up before my face, all in a fraction of a second and with no effort at all.  And I can repeat the operation at will. On the other had, were I to walk to that point on the horizon it would take time and effort, time and effort which I might feel I could better employ doing something else. To look costs me nothing but to go involves both a choice and a cost.” 

Touch — Gabriel Josipovici